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tonight on STREET FIGHT

A tale in many parts

Chapter one

Mr. Minke sat in his navy blue armchair. Against the dark floral wall paper, the chair appeared to be a blob of solid color. Mr. Minke’s sausage fingers dangled over the edge of the armrests. Each finger seemed larger than the one before, yet small compared to the hand and arm which held them all together. One arm itself must have been 24inches in diameter at its widest point. If the skin from around his arms was stretched out it would be the height of an 8year old boy. Those 8 year old boy arms piled into shoulders the size of a rhinoceros which slouched into his neck. The neck was the most interesting part of Mr. Minke’s upper body. It existed without really existing. It was a pile of what seemed to be the collected and unwanted thighs of thousands of years of liposuction. There was no defining moment where the pile of skin turned into a face. But there was a hint of two beady eyes and A flat shapeless mouth opened slightly and wheezed a forced breath into the stale air.
He peeled his thick back off the cheap material of the armchair and released all his weight onto the round stubs that were his legs. He stood on his inflated feet and made his way across the room. Slowly but surely he arrived at the old pc that sat on a crumb covered desk. He fell into the chair and dust jumped into the room. As he sat down a little spout of water squirted out from the top of his head. It landed in a small puddle to the left of the key board. “its almost time” he thought as he skimmed the puddle with one of his sausage fingers and brought it to his mouth. “I better get moving.”

Dear Anyone in the Oak Park/ Chicago Land Area,

Please hire me. Please.

Dear Anyone in the Oak Park/ Chicago Land Area,

Please hire me. Please.

oh yeaaaah.

another wasted year

mature audiences only

The Girls

The field stretched into the horizon. You could not face any direction without being approached by open space. Many, many meters in the distance the bottom of the Alps lines the edge of the monstrous field. Phillip trudged across the green grass carrying a bucket and a small stool. His dirty brown hair slid out from his cloth cap causing him to stop for a moment to brush his long bangs away from his eyes. As he picked up the stool he heard the familiar “Bahs” of his family’s heard of sheep. He conquered a slight incline and on the other side lay about three-dozen sheep grazing apathetically.
Phillip looked at the vast array of ewes and rams. Only an hour ago he had been tucked away in a corner of his home transfixed by the most interesting book he had taken out of his father’s small but thriving library. It was titled Human Reproduction. He had been intrigued by the title and even more captivated once he saw the illustrations within its binding. He had eagerly read through about half the book feeling overwhelming excitement the whole time until his mother had pulled him from the corner. “This book is not for little boys!” she yelled and pulled the book from his grasp. “Do you know what time it is Phillip? You should have milked the girls over and hour ago! Its chilly though, wear your hat, darling.” She stuffed his small head into a cap she had made for him last fall and pushed him out the door armed with the bucket and stool. He looked at the sheep and wished he was still hidden in the corner of his room reading peacefully.
Phillip dropped his milking tools and threw himself onto his back into the plush grass. He allowed his hat to fall off so his small head could be un-stuffed. Unbuttoning his vest he allowed his mind to be filled with the images he had not long ago been looking at. He scratched the side of his nose so hard that his freckles almost fell off. A larger sheep with a distinct mark by her nose made her way to the sprawled out boy. The sheep nudged his body with her nose until he finally sat up. “Alright, Belle, you’re first if you’re that ready!” Phillip stood up and led the eager sheep to the bucket.
He sat on the stool and placed his hands on her swollen udder. At this moment he was again flooded with vivid images from the book he had not long ago been consumed by. “Oh.” He said, blushing. He took his hands away quickly. “Is it okay if I do this, Belle? It doesn’t hurt?”
“Baaaaah” she muttered and stamped a hoof.
“Okay. This is part of your body. I don’t know how I feel about touching it. I guess that all the lambs drank their milk from here. I wonder if it tastes the same as human milk. I forgot what they are called, on humans. I know yours is an udder. When my future wife has our future baby will I be able to feed it milk, too?”
“Baaah,” she muttered and stamped a hoof. Phillip shook his head and focused on the udder in front of him. He slowly reached for the swollen organ. He held the teat closest to him firmly between his thumb and pointer finger. As he grabbed it his mouth opened at the corners, his nose scrunched up, and his eyes closed slightly. It felt fleshier than usual. In all of his previous milking experience, Phillip had never taken a moment to notice how soft and sandy the protrusion had felt. He pictured the milk moving through narrow passageways and out into his bucket. It was enough to make him ill. He let go and turned away from Belle.
“Baaaah” she muttered and stamped a hoof.
“Ah. Ok, fine. I’ll just do it quick and get it over with.” He turned back around and with a look of disgust grabbed the udder and began to milk rapidly. After a few moments Belle’s anxiety ceased and she relaxed into the hands of her owner.
“I have a few questions about the book I was reading, Belle. I’m sure if I were able to finish it I would figure out the answers, but I don’t think Ma will let me. Maybe I can sneak into the library while they’re out doing work in the mornings before I usually wake up!” He milked more rapidly, for he was filled with excitement. “That’s exactly what I’ll do. Tomorrow I’ll wake up around the same time Ma and Pa do. They will get dressed and feed everyone and they will think I’m sound asleep in my bed. No. I will be the library. No! I’ll get the book and go back to bed, so if they come back in sooner than I think I will look like I am still asleep! Belle this a great plan!” He began to tug.
“BAAAAH.” She screeched and stamped a hoof.
“Oh.” He said with surprise and let go immediately. “Sorry, Belle. I got a little excited. I just really want to finish reading the book. Its exciting to learn new things. Ma always teaches things the same way. It will be nice to go into real school next September. I’ll have other kids to play with hopefully. Maybe some girls. Girls with whatever those things are called to feed our future baby. That will be nice.” Phillip looked down into the bucket. There was very little milk in it. “I guess we aren’t finished yet. Sorry, Belle. I’ll focus.” He continued to milk the impatient sheep.
“Belle, do you think girls will like me?” He waited a moment for her answer. Not even a bah. “I’m a nice boy. Or at least that’s what Ma always says. I think I’m probably handsome. Pa is, so I must be, right?” Still no answer from the sheep. Phillip continued to milk accepting her silence. He milked in silence for a good time. The wind smelled sweet and cut through his non- hat covered hair. The sun slid out from behind a cloud and onto his fair skin. He pursed his lips and slid his tongue over his tiny teeth while he concentrated on milking. The milk level slowly began to rise. Of course, there were still a few other sheep to attend to. He had given Belle some trouble that morning, though, so he thought she deserved a little extra special attention. Sensing that Belle’s turn was almost over, the other girls started to move towards him. Phillip sensed the commotion. He looked over the torso of Belle at the approaching throng.
“Aright, I guess we’re done for the day.”
“Baaaah.” She muttered and stamped her hoof. He gave a hard pat on the back and she ran off towards the throng of sheep. Phillip walked towards the crowd preparing to pick his next victim. At this moment his mother appeared at the top of the hill.
“Phillip, darling, put your hat back on. Its very chilly this afternoon.” She picked his hat up as she approached him and put it firmly over his head.
“What are you doing here Ma? I can do this by myself.”
“I know, darling, but Papa wants to talk to you for a little while. I can finish up here.”
“Oh.” Phillip felt a lump form in his throat. He knew the conversation with his father would be about the book, a subject he was not yet ready to discuss with a grown-up. A slight blush appeared in his cheeks. “Well I only got though Belle.”
“Phillip! You’ve been up here for an hour already! Oh, what will we do with you child. Well I will finish up the rest. Go on, Papa is waiting. Come on, up with you.” She hurried him off in the direction of home.
He walked into the sweet smelling wind very slowly. Every step was getting closer to his death. Or at least that’s what it felt like. He thought about what his father would say. He thought about if his mother would ask him about it later. He thought about the girls he would meet next year in school. He began to imagine a conversation between himself and the pretty blond haired girl who might be sitting next to him on the first day. The conversation progressed in his head from moment to moment, each wracked with desire. He was about to kiss the little blond girl in his head when he ran right into his father in the front yard.