Art History Final Presentation, Barcelona 2006, as performed by Zoe Schwartz and Arlo Furst

(oh my god, I can't believe we performed this in front of our class)


Scene 1:

ART MUSEUM: Portrait of Paul Eluard on wall

G: My oh my. (as vender walks by)

V: what a beautiful piece.

G: You think so?

V: Its definitely interesting. Looks like theres a lot going on in the mind of this man. A lot under the surface.

G: Yes. You see, this man here?

V: Yes.

G: He loves this woman. I know that because of this lion here. Have you read anything by freud?

V: who?

G: hes a psychoanalyst. Writes a lot about the unconciousness of thought. Anyway, he says that the lion symbolizes desire. So this lion coming from the mans head to the woman, he wants her.

V: Does he?

G: Yeah. But this woman is distracted by another man.

V: sounds like something that could lead to trouble.

G: yes, that’s where this grasshopper comes in. the artist is terrified of them and he uses them to signify something hes frightened of in life. This other mans desire.

V: do you know the artist?

G: just by association.

V: and what about these, are these ants?

G: Yes. They represent orgasm and sexual sensations.

V: WOW.

G: Yeah, interesting isn’t it?

V: Id like this artist to do some work for me…for a great sum of money.
G: ILL ARRANGE THAT RIGHT AWAY!



SCENE 2:


D: “Gala
You are not included
In the circle
Of my objects relation
Your love is beyond
The comparative and beggarly concepts
Of human feelings
For I feel nothing for you
Since feelings mean the absence of love
Or its weakness
And it is beyond all feeling
That your pure, unique image
Excites me and makes me ejaculate.”

SEX BEHIND DESK, G COMES UP FRUSTRATED

G: Why cant you make love to me? Just tell me already!

D: Its complicated.

G: Well talk to me stupid.

D: You don’t understand my past. Ive been through a lot of emotional trauma. Deaths in the family.

G: how does your mother dying affect your penis?

D: Theres more than that.

G: What?

D: well do you know about my past with Federico Garcia Lorca?

G: I know you lived together in the residencia in Madrid…

D: well he was in love with me and 6 years my senior, a poet a writer, a beautiful musician.

G: Did you love him?

D: as a friend, and for a moment in time a bit more than that.

G: Did you make love to him?

D: We tried. Twice. But both times were unsuccessful.

G: How does this affect us?

D: It was slightly traumatic. I tried to make myself be something I was not.

G: God knows you love who you are.

D: what is that supposed to mean?

G: cough narcissist cough

PREGNANT PAUSE.

G: well. Im a woman. My body is softer than lorcas was. Cant you see it as a different experience with me?

D: No matter what, it seems violent to me. I cant….perform.

G: well what are we going to do about this?

D: VALE! You love sex, but I cant satisfy you, and I want you to be satisfied (like a son wants his mother to be happy, look out to audience to imply maybe this is why he cant get it up) so...

G: what if I gave my body to others, but my heart remains yours?

D: lets try it.

G: goes to closest boy, and flirts.

D: hmmmm. Im surprisingly pleased with how this is turning out…


SCENE.